In Self We Trust?

After Steve Jobs died last week, I couldn't help but notice all the news articles which highlighted not only his company's achievements, but also his personal philosophy. I can appreciate all his hard work, his technological advances, and his motivational ideas that led to the success of Apple. I personally benefit from his life's work, as do millions of other people.

Many people find purpose for their lives in their work. Good works are marvelous, but I tend to compare myself to Jobs and other successful people. Then I realize that I will never change the world to the same degree that he did, I will never invent something that will benefit the entire world. I am not nearly as intelligent, experienced, or as motivated. I will never amass great wealth, nor be able to give away wealth. My own competitive spirit and personal motivation to be "the best" only leads me to self-pity. My achievements are no match compared to theirs! I am sure others feel this way, and this even leads to depression, low self-worth, and lack of purpose in life. It can even be the reason people step back and don't get involved.... we feel too small, too insignificant, too weak, or too unimportant to make a difference. At my high school graduation, I heard the same moving speeches that were meant to spur young people on to make a difference in the world, because life is short....embrace it and live life to the fullest!

Most people believe that if they do enough good on earth, then they will have a good afterlife somewhere. But what scale is God, karma, or any other thing using to decide this? In the end, how is success measured? Did I do enough? Did I do enough good? Do my good deeds outweigh my bad deeds? Did I make a mark in the world? If the value of my life is measured by my works, if the purpose of my life is shaped by my works, and if my hope and trust lie in the scope of my achievements, then I am indeed to be pitied the most. The truth is that earthly successes are short lived and only provide temporary relief to our insatiable appetite to excel and be a cut above the rest. One must continually seek purpose and salvation in the next big thing.

My own list of achievements - education, family reputation, marriage, children, jobs, awards, experiences, etc., can cause me to be covered in pride, temporary happiness, and self-exaltation - certainly nothing that brings lasting joy, peace, or hope for the future. Besides, my failures often overshadow them. The Apostle Paul had a great list of achievements, Philippians 3:4-9. However, he called them all trash compared to knowing Christ! He found the secret to living well now, and to living with eternal peace. It was not based on his achievements, but on Christ's achievements. Christ was the object of his faith, and gave him a "right standing" with God. Like it or not, we all put our faith in something. If our faith focus is not in God, then it is usually on self. I agree with Paul, the value of knowing Christ is far greater than all my works, and my righteousness is not based on my good works. I am not "good enough" because of what I have done. I cannot find salvation in my work, marriage, or in any other successes. Contrary to popular belief, it's not what you do that makes you successful, it's who you believe in. I have found that nothing satisfies like the resting place of Christ. Good works are simply that - good works. But they should not be a resting place for our faith.


"For by grace you have been saved through faith....not as a result of works, that no one should boast." Ephesians 2"8-9

A Little Child Will Lead Them

Two of us Bakers just took a quick trip back to the States to visit family. Stephen is three years old, and even though he is so little, I see God using him and leading through this little child. While we were visiting Mimi and Poppa's house in Florida, Stephen suddenly said, "We need to worship God. Let's go!" I asked him what he meant by this, and he said, "We need to sing, let's go to Poppa's room." So, the three year old led Mimi and I to my Dad's room, where he was sitting. We each pulled up a chair, sat down, and chose praise songs to sing. Jesus Loves the Little Children, Nothing But the Blood of Jesus, Lord You Are More Precious Than Silver, and The Lord Is My Shepherd, were just some of the favorite songs that we sang together. He didn't ask to sing the ABCs, Twinkle Little Star, or Skip to My Lou, or much less the latest song from a pop star. There was no music, no instruments, no great harmonies, just our simple voices stopping in the middle of the day..........together.........praising our great God. I am still amazed to understand that within each of us, is a built-in longing to be in relationship with God - whether or not we realize it. Even a small child can sense the divine, the closeness of God, and desire His presence. And even a little child can lead us to worship in the simplest way with quiet songs full of great theology.

The Shepherd is Mighty to Save

Recently we went with our Hungarian church on their annual retreat, and this year they went to the Tatra Mountains in Slovakia. On the way north, we stopped at a little resort town for bathroom breaks and ice cream. In a distant field we saw a flock of sheep and a shepherd with his sheep dog. It was an amazing sight to us who have never been close to seeing sheep grazing on a hillside. The children immediately wanted to walk over for a closer look, which the shepherd allowed. Stephen was one of the last ones to arrive at the field. The fluffy, round little creatures were indeed bleeeeeting and grazing their way through this field, the traditional shepherd was very poor, and the sheepdog was welcoming, but the most amazing thing was hearing little Stephen singing, "The Lord is my shepherd, I'll walk with Him always..." He was very bold in his singing and very sure that this was the appropriate time to belt out one of his favorite tunes. At first I thought that maybe Stephen thought this shepherd was Jesus, but he just kept telling me that "this is a REAL shepherd." He had been wondering what a shepherd was!




When we arrived at our destination, we admired the breathtaking view of mountains with peaks hidden by clouds. Stephen's response? He began singing, "Savior, He can move the mountains, my God is mighty to save, mighty to save...." What could be more appropriate than a response of praise to our Creator and Savior? How simple life is for a child! Just a pure, honest response when he was moved beyond his own ability to speak of such wonders.


"From the mouth of infants and nursing babes Thou has prepared praise..." Matthew 21:16
"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." Matthew 5:8

The Surrendered Life

The surrendered life is......

accepting what God gives,
adjusting your life to the unexpected plans,
joyfully laying down your own plans,

not despising the suffering that God gives,
not despising the work that God gives,
not despising the provision that God gives,
not delighting in something else,

looking for joy in what you are given,
listening quietly with open hands,
moving beyond the temporary,
receiving hope in things that are eternal,

letting go of the disappointments,
loving the present gifts,
looking past pain to find joy,
looking past self to find Christ,

......this is an exchanged life.

Galatians2:20
"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me, and delivered Himself up for me."



The time leading up to Easter found us stricken with a strange virus that left us (the parents) quite unable to do anything. Extremely painful swollen joints made even sitting, standing, and sleeping difficult. Opening bottles, bags, and bananas was unthinkable! With much painful pulling we had to take off our wedding rings. Thankfully, we took turns with the virus, leaving only one of us ill at one time so we could take care of the children. Thank you to those who prayed for our recovery!
The real test was not so much the physical pain, but what to do with loss of time. There is so much work to do. We know the seriousness of our language study, we see our unbelieving friends, we know that time is fleeting. It was very difficult for life to come to a sudden halt in our house! At least when we have a cold we can throw some dirty clothes in the washer, and when we have the flu we can boil water to make some soup. But this time, I wasn't able to do anything but sit and feel the pain! I suddenly can relate to those who suffer with arthritis or autoimmune disorders. My thoughts were also on the cross. I could not imagine the depth of Christ's pain and the lingering suffering leading up to his death. And in a unique way, the physical suffering brought me into deeper fellowship with Him.


As for the "loss of time," God is able to redeem what Satan tried to scheme. I believe it is no coincidence that our family becomes ill at important times. God is able to work everything to conform to the purposes of His will, Ephesians 1:11. God is sovereign, and His ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts are deeper than my thoughts. What to do with the suffering? Embrace it and trust Him. Habakkuk, whose name means "embrace," knew that terrible suffering was coming to him and his people. And he chose to say, "Yet I will exult in the Lord, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength, and He has made my feet like hinds' feet, and makes me walk on my high places." Hab. 3:16-19

"Suffering is a mystery, but not so much a mystery that I cannot trust you." Joni Eareckson Tada

Stop and Smell the Berries

The mulberry tree behind our church is a magnificent display of God's creation. It's height is breathtaking to a girl from the South. We're not used to such tall trees. There are also so many different varieties of trees here - cherries, almonds, chestnuts, apples, pears, peaches, walnuts, red and black currants, and mulberries. Sadly, there are no Texas pecans or Florida citrus! We have enjoyed watching the trees bloom in the springtime and try to guess what kind of fruit it will bear.

As an adult, I can easily forget how sensitive children are to our surroundings. I forget that all the wonders I have seen for thousands of times are very new to a child who has yet to explore the world around them. The world is full of wonders to dazzle our senses....if we take time to notice them. Elizabeth can't wait to get to church so she can pick the berries from the ground and branches. She is so amazed to be able to pick these juicy berries and fill up her bag. Even Stephen is fascinated with these beautiful berries and helps pick them. Little Stephen always walks slow because he is trying to see everything - a butterfly, flowers, a rock, an ant. I understand why children always look behind them when trying to walk forward - they don't want to miss anything!

I like what Pastor Jay said from FBC Lakeland,....."What if God handed you a camera every morning and told you to snap pictures of you noticing Him at work wherever you go?" What would you take a picture of? Do we even know what God is doing around us? God is much closer than we realize. He is working in ways we do not always realize. He wants to speak to us, reveal himself to us, and show us the next thing to do. We have so many opportunities to be kind, to be helpful, and to speak about Jesus.....if we aren't too busy to notice. A big part of our work right now is going slow, being slow, being available, and taking time to notice people. We stopped walking through the mall because an elderly lady recognized us and wanted to talk. We sat down on the bench with her for awhile. It was good to not be in a hurry.

It's time to be still....know that he is God.....and join him.

Waiting for the Harvest!

Spring is really, finally here!!! The days are still cold but now there is sunshine and the snow is only a memory. We bought some gladiola bulbs and soil at Tesco, and then worked to prepare a small "garden" in the back yard. I know it doesn't look like much, but the children worked very hard to plow up the hard ground, pull up the weeds & rocks, pour in the good soil, and bury the bulbs. We had fun digging up worms too. Everyday they love to go outside and water their garden with their very own watering cans. This week there was so much rain, that there are already some small shoots appearing.

Doesn't this paint a beautiful picture of how God works? Each person has a special gift and different abilities. As we work together in the body of Christ we are laying a deeper foundation in preparation for a great harvest - to see more people turning their hearts & minds to Christ. There are so many things we can do to prepare for a great harvest, but the truth is, we are a part of God's plan for a great harvest, and it is God's harvest, not ours. "I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing the growth. Now he who plants and he was waters are one, but each will receive his own reward according to his own labor. For we are God's fellow workers...." 1 Corinthians 3:5-9

And one last thought....
"And seeing the multitudes, He felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and downcast like sheep without a shepherd. Then He said to His disciples, 'The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few....." Matthew 9:36-38

A Humble Beginning

As we have come to the end of our first year in Budapest, we are looking forward to experiencing God's promises in the new year. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus...The challenges of moving to a new country, culture, and home have increased our dependence on God and decreased our dependency on all things that were once important....who although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped... Holding onto the past, experiences, skills, achievements, degrees, money, favorite toys, and the comforts of America with a clenched fist only increase my self-sufficiency. What a blessing to be in a place where all these things are stripped away...but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant and being made in the likeness of men.... The 'form' of who I am must change if there is to be transformation and inspiration. I am no longer certain that I can do anything, except remain empty.....He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death.... Humility is a pre-requisite for following Jesus, I know this. How humbled am I willing to be? Some boast in chariots, and some in horses...I have nothing more to claim or cling to. I am desperate for the Lord to do His work in His way. God, if you don't do something, nothing is going to happen here! ....But we will boast in the name of the Lord, our God!

Philippians 2:5-8, Psalm 20:7

I Cannot Be Quiet!

We have a group of believers from our church who meet in our living room every Thursday night. It has been wonderful to get to know some Hungarians better as they are very open about sharing their life experiences during this time. Almost 2 weeks ago, one lady in our group asked us to pray for her co-worker who was scheduled to have a late-term abortion on Friday, the next day. This pregnant woman had found out that her baby had Down Syndrome and she did not want to keep the baby. She was six months pregnant. Over the next week, our friend did not have contact with her and we did not know what happened until this week's Thursday night meeting.

The pregnant woman did proceed with the abortion on Friday. She was induced and went into labor, and the baby should have been delivered shortly after. However, the labor process went on until Sunday night. The nurses in attendance said that if the baby did not come this day, she would just have to carry the baby to full term. There was nothing more they could do to make the baby come so early. However, the baby did come Sunday night.

The baby was born alive, and the mother was not allowed to see the baby. The baby was then left unattended......and left to die alone.

And so, this is a typical late-term abortion. Is this more humane than the "partial-birth" abortion method that is in such high demand in America? Friends, let us not think that God does not see and that God does mourn for the callous hearts that would so willingly dispose of another human simply because that one is less than perfect. The word abortion has become far too common a word - even among Christians. Let's not get comfortable with knowing that so many children are being killed every day. Let's not put economics and health care ahead of the right to life when it comes to voting. Let's not assume there is nothing more we can do to stop such evil practices.

Remember our own beautiful daughter.....our five year old who loves to sing and dance, is learning to speak Hungarian and to play piano, completes an entire math chapter in one day, and plays princess dress-up every day......who has Turner Syndrome? She was a choice. "It's OK if you want to terminate your pregnancy, you can always try again. It's not your fault that something is wrong with your baby. We just don't know how bad the affects of her condition will be....." I will never forget hearing these words and how it stung my heart. It's unbelievable that we would even have to talk a genetic counselor who assured us that "pregnancy termination" was a perfectly normal choice! WHAT? What's normal about killing your baby? Special needs children are precious! They are a special GIFT from God......so that we would learn how to really love.


"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are your works, and my soul knows it very well." Psalm 139

I cannot be quiet! Psalm 94:16, Proverbs 31:8-9

What About Missions?

"Why Hungary? Of all the places in the world, why would you chose Hungary?" We have heard this question many times, and the answer isn't always easily understood. Separately we read through job requests for places all over the world - Spain, Venezuela, Mexico, South Africa.....and Hungary. During my time of reading through the requests, I was moved to tears when I read the last one on the bottom of the pile. I had a very small glimpse of light into the dark post-communistic society of Eastern Europe, and saw many Hungarians coming to know Jesus. When we came back together, we had both chosen the same job request. So why this place? You could say that God put the Hungarian people in our hearts. The other requests sounded interesting, exciting, and wonderful, but something was missing......the calling, the passion, the presence of God in leading us to a different people group.


Many people love to talk about missions or say that they're praying for missions. Churches love to support missions, but often missions is just a concept that is too far removed from the everyday American life. It's easy to feel guilty for not having more time or money to do something more for the nations. Let's get real and specific! God is concerned about people - individuals and families all over the world. God calls His followers to respond to Him. If we as Christians are listening to Him, there will be people or peoples that he is leading us to. Not just "missions" in general.....but people.

Missions becomes REAL when we become involved with REAL individuals. Not programs, not offerings, not promotional videos, and not in idolizing missionaries. Who are we concerned about?

Which people are on your heart?

The Crown

Her flower crown reminded me of another kind of crown - the kind that the Lord daily places on us.

"Bless the Lord, O my soul and forget none of His benefits.......who redeems your life from the pit; who crowns you with lovingkindess and compassion; who satisfies your years with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle." Psalm 103:2-5

A list begins forming in my mind of all the ways the Lord has crowned us with his love and compassion. The good things He gives are satisfying, and can cause me to forget my true age! My youth is daily restored and I am energized by the bounty of His goodness. I have often thought of this verse and am amazed at the truth - if I realize the truth of all He has done for me, my soul cannot help but cry out in praising His name. If I forget His benefits I can only be filled with despair, instead of holding a beautiful crown of his love on my head.

The short list of His benefits to me:
Peace in moving our family to live in another country,
Seeing God put our lives together here as a family,
Hearing words from God when I open the Bible to read,
Being able to live in a spiritually dark place and share the Good News,
Being greeted with 2 kisses from our Hungarian friends,
Our stolen trash can showing up (unharmed) in our yard 4 days later,
Having to buy 6 pairs of shoes in a period of 4 weeks,
Having a washing machine for our dirty clothes,
Having access to medicine for our children,
The ONE morning that all 4 children slept in until 7AM,
The endless hugs and kisses (especially the slobbery kind) from the children and husband!

Are you wearing your crown today?

Be an Example

On the way home from language class the other day, we passed by the Diosd cemetary. There was a funeral in progress. My heart was stricken at the brevity of life and how few people know Christ. Our teacher was just telling us that here in Hungary, there is no cultural Christian background which people grow up with. You would be surprised at how much the cultural Christianity influences our society in America. Here, people have grown up with atheism and cultural Catholicism and have never attended church. Many have never seen a real Christian and have not grown up knowing what the ten commandments are, have never attended a VBS, or don't know the basic Bible stories. Morality standards don't exist. Christianity is an entirely new culture, and this is radical change. Janos is a great teacher. One of his techniques is to teach us samples in Hungarian - "This is a ________." Then, we can apply the sample to any situation or sentence. I related this thought to being a Christian "sample" here in Hungary. If there is true sample of what Christ is, then there is something by which people can compare their lives to. A Christian will be the same in any culture, in any place in the world. By the way, Janos is also a pastor. He has helped start several churches, and even helped smuggle Bibles into Romania during communism. His entire life has been an offering and a living sacrifice to the Lord. We are to be His examples, a true sample, a salted life, a fragrant aroma, a light....

Self-Sufficient or God-Sufficient?

I have been using the 31 days of prayer guide for our region and the August 23 prayer request of praying against self-suffiency really got me thinking. Living here has made me think of how self-sufficient I really was when I lived in America. I can list a line of accomplishments like Paul did in Philippians 3:4-7. It makes me feel good about myself to think of what I have done. It makes me feel special to know that I have achieved something tangible. Of course, that is just a deception. Just as the rich are deluded in thinking that their wealth is a safe wall around them (Proverbs 18:11). Here, my past has no relevance. Do things or achievements really set us apart in the eyes of Jesus? When I'm having a hard day, it becomes easy to say, "If only I had ____________ (a maid, more time, different job), then everything would be better today." As if things or achievements could smooth out any unpleasantness. And then that thought leads me to comparing myself to others. "I wish I could____________," or "I wish I was ______________."

There are moments when I have mourned for some possessions we had to leave behind. Why? It's just stuff! But why does stuff mean anything to me anyway? Somehow, in our human mind, we attach our heart to tangible things and sense a need to hold these with a clenched fist. Isn't this the same idea when our children ask for new toys every time we go shopping?

What if you strip away everything - family, friends, possessions, your church, your ability to make your own choices, your vehicle, your money, your language, your skills, Chic-Fil-A, or Wal-Mart? What if no one really cared how many degrees you have or how much your job pays? We can unknowingly hold onto these things instead of holding onto God. It can get so comfortable we don't even see our need for God in the daily, common life.

Sometimes we think it's greener on the other side of the fence.....but there really isn't another side of the fence. How we live and the choices we make show where our heart is. I am honestly asking, "what is my goal?" If I really wanted to know God would I do anything different? Would I change something in my life? What would I have to give up? What am I really holding onto? My answer should be nothing!

"My goal is to know Him....forgetting what lies behind (let go of it all) and reaching forward to what lies ahead.....I press on to the goal of God in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 3:10-14

Doing the Wrong Work

As a former stay-at-home mom, I now know the feeling that others talked about - being torn between your children at home, and the work required of you outside the home. My "job" is to spend time in class with my teacher, do my homework, spend time conversing, listening, and practicing....anything to help me learn better. I feel like I have an incredible load on my shoulders and to do all of the above is to only do a little in each area, and none of it well (so it seems). It is very easy to be BUSY doing all kinds of things, and my to-do list is very long. I am very good at doing 3 things at once! But am I doing things of VALUE? Is God directing my work?

"Thus says the Lord of hosts, consider your ways! You have sown much, but harvest little; you eat, but there is not enough to be satisfied; you drink, but there is not enough to become drunk; you put on clothing, but no one is warm enough; and he who earns, earns wages to put into a purse with holes......consider you ways!"
Haggai 1:5-9

The Lord wanted them to rebuild the temple. But the people were focused on their work. It was a total inward focus - on their house, their clothes, their harvest, their earnings, rather than focusing on the Lord's work. And he took away the fruit of their labor. I must DAILY allow God to direct my work. By asking him, he will show me the priorities for the day, and he may give me something to do that wasn't on my to-do list! Whether you have a short or long to-do list is irrelevant. What matters most is that we are doing the right work. Business is not always fruitful, but the right work will bear fruit.

(This is a cherry tree in the photo!)

Let Your Light Shine

While our friends were visiting, we girls (just the women!) left all 7 children at home with the men. They played with the children, changed 2 babies diapers, cooked dinner and fed them all, and got them ready for bed. What a blessing! This is what we saw along the way....we skipped the mall and went shopping in town on Vaci Street. Lots of little shops and sidewalk cafes, and lots of people. people who don't know our Lord. Even though I am not speaking Hungarian well (at all!) and cannot communicate, I get the feeling that who I am is speaking louder than my words. I really stand out here, not just because I am American. There is a lack of light, and you can see it on people's faces. I try to smile at people and that is VERY strange here!! My smiles are not returned (at least not yet). But how we live causes nonbelievers to see the real difference, and this makes Christ believable.

"There's no more powerful tool of social and structural change in our world than for Christians to believe and live out the doctrine and the gospel of Jesus Christ." (N.L. Demoss)

The Harvest

"And should I have compassion on Ninevah, the great city in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know the difference between their right and left hand?"Jonah 4:11

"And seeing the multitudes He felt compassion for them because they were distressed and downcast like sheep without a shepherd. Then He said to His disciples, 'The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Therefore beseech the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into His harvest." Matthew 9:36-38

We live in a city where Christians are a small minority. The majority are people who do not know Jesus, and have no hope and no peace. Do we have compassion just as God does? Jonah's concern for his personal comforts and personal issues almost kept him from following God. It is difficult to think of such vast numbers of people who do not know the difference between their right and left hand. There is a great harvest now.

Daily Bread

"Give us our daily bread." Matthew 6:9-13
I have been doing lots of things I never thought I could do, and baking bread by hand is one of them. Whole wheat bread is hard to find in the stores so I decided to start making my own. The bread in the stores is baked fresh everyday, and is only fresh the day you buy it. One really needs to buy a new loaf daily. Who wants to eat stale bread? This brings new meaning to the above verse - we need daily bread! Yesterday's bread isn't good enough for today. And Jesus wasn't only talking about bread for your stomach. Jesus gives renewal daily. Enjoy God's provision for today, stop worrying about tomorrow. Don't try to live on stale bread.

Life As A Baby

I was just thinking about what a baby's life is like - 

• Everything is new and exciting. 
  
• There are no known limitations. 
  
• You expect mom and dad to give you everything, and do everything for you. 
  
• You are utterly dependent on your parents to the extent that your very life depends on it. 
  
• You have no inhibitions, no pride, no reservations, no hiding anything - what you see is what you get - only pure unadulterated emotions. 
  
• You cling to your parents above all other people. 
  
• You have extreme passions, hot or cold, hate it or love it, screaming or happy - there is no lukewarm middle ground behavior. 
  
• You have an open trusting heart, willing to believe anything. 

Mark 10:15

"Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it at all. "

As They Were Going

Luke 17:14 "And it came about that as they were going, they were cleansed."

As they were going, a step of faith, multiple steps of faith, and 10 lepers were healed. There was no stopping or staying, only moving forward.  A reminder to me to watch and see how God works when I walk on in victory, despite the view that I am seeing or the circumstances that surround me. Before moving here there were so many questions about what we should do and when...so many details to work out, so much we didn't know. We have seen God work out all the details so beautifully. The rose garden bushes in the picture were only "dead" stumps when we arrived. Keep on going when you are diseased, sick, discouraged, exhausted, jet lagged, up all night with the baby, taking care of sick children, in need, fed up and let down. Be steadfast in following God, in doing what He has said to do. "As they were going...."